Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize