Non-Jews are for practice
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
