Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
