I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
two words...techno handjob
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
