Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
