let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize