I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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