I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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