Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
