he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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