it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
