Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i came on her dog
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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