Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
