You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
