Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
