You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize