I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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