we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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