Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
