oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
