guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize