she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
