yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
