i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
