so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
