My friends, they love my intelligence
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
