As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
