now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
