her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
