Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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