i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Found your dick twin last night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
