Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
