i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
