like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
