Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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