420 ftw
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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