I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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