Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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