Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
BRING THE BAGELS
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
