you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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