if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
