'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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