Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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