I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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