There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
