I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
