how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize