He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
