Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
