so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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