she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i now understand why vodka
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
