Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
