So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
