Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
