Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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