So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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