I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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