is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
