Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize