they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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