I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
