So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
