I need help removing her.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
